Giving Up

When I learned I was pregnant, I started reading books, online materials and watching videos to learn about what to expect, how to take care of the baby and how to breastfeed. Nowhere in the books does it say what you will need to give up when you become a mother. Here are things I had to give up when I became a mother:

• Sleep This is a tad bit of an exaggeration. I still get to sleep but not the kind of uninterrupted sleep I used to get. The most difficult was when my baby was a month old because he had to eat every 2 hours but he gets hungry an hour before that. He could not latch directly yet so I had to carry him to soothe him. After feeding, he needs to be upright for 15 minutes and then a while after that he will need to be changed because newborns poop every after a feed. I had to pump in between to collect the 2oz he needed to take in. Between the pumping, burping, calming and feeding, I was left with almost no sleep. 
• Shopping I did not heed the advice of a friend who advised me to shop for bigger sized bras (2 cups bigger than the current) because I was unsure what my size was going to be. By the time my baby joined our tiny family, I could not leave the house anymore caused in part by my C-section and my inability to drive but mostly because I needed to express milk for my baby. I could not wear my smaller bras because tight bras can give you breast lumps that can develop to mastitis. When I was single, I hated the feeling of not wearing a bra, when I gave birth I was without them for almost two months! 
• Going Out Because of my C-section, I could not go up and down the stairs, this meant I could also not go out. The first time I went out, not counting two quick trips to the OB and another to Medical City, was when I attended a seminar for my son's Christening. This was two months after I gave birth. It is with no exaggeration when I say, the light outside at 3:00 PM was blinding. 
• Haircuts I do not get haircuts often. In fact, when I got married, I have not gone to get a haircut for a year. They said it would be harder to fix my hair if it were short. When I got pregnant, I did not want to go inside a parlor for fear of inhaling chemicals that may be harmful to the baby. After I gave birth, my hair was already up to my waist. I was beginning to wonder if I would ever be able to find the time to get a haircut. Almost four months after I gave birth, I finally was able to get the needed haircut. I now understand why some moms chop their hair really short after having a baby. 
• Baths I still take baths but what used to be a bath that can last up to an hour now cannot extend beyond 20 minutes. Any longer and my baby starts to cry. 
• Make-up, Moisturizer and Sun block People who know me know that I cannot step out of the house without sun block and cannot sleep without moisturizer. This is long gone for fear that the baby might lick the gunk off my face. 
• Nice Bras I do not know why nursing bras that provide good support are so hard to find. Particularly for my size. I am now making do with bras that are a cup smaller because they do not have my cup size. The brighter side is, my bra is now a fifth of the price of my former bras. 
• Movie Dates When I was pregnant we stopped watching movies  as soon as we realized how risky it is for me to catch certain diseases. When in a movie house, you never know who you are next to and what disease you can contract. Nowadays, we do not watch movies because leaving the baby at home seems unfair. We already work on weekdays and the hours on weekends are hours for the baby. 
• Eating Out My husband and I used to eat out when we need to go home late because of a meeting or what not. We now rush home after a meeting regardless of time because we want to be with the baby. 
• Going Out with Friends Friends have been inviting us for get together dinners but we just have too many constraints. Dinner has to be near our place, it must not end too late, the list goes on that we just say we are not going to not inconvenience people. 
• Travel I have a bad case of wanderlust. Have had it since I was a kid so I jump at every chance I get to travel. Recently, I was given an opportunity to go to the US for two weeks. I would normally say yes without batting an eyelash. This time around though, I had to say no. I could not be away from the baby for too long because I need to feed him. While travel used to be something I sought after, it is now something I try to avoid as much as possible.

The list goes on. Had I read about these things I had to give up for motherhood, I still, without a doubt, would not change a thing. A smile from my little one is worth everything that I had to give up. For now. Eventually, I know things will normalize and get easier. In the meantime, I will revel in the sight of a baby who looks up to me anticipating the milk I give to nourish him, the warmth and comfort my arms provide and the smell (no matter how bad) that calms him.